Decisions.

I have no idea what to do.
why must I have to make this decision? what must I be an adult?
ehhhhh
so I'm considering doing Senior Thesis, but I know doing that
I will have to give up some other things for my senior year,
but then I think doing the Senior Thesis will only help become a better teacher,
it'll open up doors for me to go to graduate school,
and I definitely see it as economical, i mean i getting research experience from a
research institution.
But ya know I'm gonna give it a try, and I feel like I'll be pushing myself to the breaking point,
like me thinking about doing so many things just makes me stressed, but I guess if I never do it,
how do I know I actually can't do it. Besides that,

• I don't know I'm living on or off campus next year.
• I really don't know what classes I'm taking next quarter.
• I don't know where I'm gonna teach after graduating.

I just don't know alot of things,
and that's really what scaring me, I don't want to see it all pass me by,
but I'm to scared to make a decision, because it's basically things I've never experience (besides the class thing)...I guess this is where a role model will come in to play.
I guess you could say I'm scared of failing. And not failing like I got a  C on midterm or something,
but like I'm scared of my whole life going down the tube, spinning around and around in  the toilet bowl,
and then me wondering why did I make that decision.

so this I pray
until my dying-day,
Lord, Please help me make a decision,
about anything, show me what I am to do.
Cuz I really have no clue,
and you know what's best for me,
and you know what lies ahead for me.

i guess I've always imagined life as being easy...
and I'm coming to the realization that life will not be easy
from here on out.
I'm tempting to ask why,
but I know it really doesn't matter why.

okay that's it.
sorry just had to get this off my chest,
maybe it'll help me to make a decision,
and stop waiting for something to happen.

idk.
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE.