Whoa, I forgot I had a blog..

yeah...
still ain't got my computer back.
currently in the library, i've literally been in this building at least once everyday since that monday (IT's Ridiculous)...

anywayz
things are kinda hectic, maybe its just cuz i dont have my laptop (which I may be getting back soon, its got shipped back to the store like on  saturday)

ive been doing stuff for NCE, P360, trying to get school work done, and etc. etc.
but generally I'm doing good. I can't complain.
definitely can't wait until spring break.
it'll be nice to be home, even though I kinda wish I was doing something...

yeah this updation is not gonna be long.
this is probably it, actually.
yeah

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

Logo Fails

Quite Hilarious!
Definitely have to have a dirty mind,
but this made me laugh when I saw it.

Here's a couple,
click the link to enjoy the rest.





http://damncoolpics.blogspot.com/2010/02/logo-fails.html

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

First Day without a laptop

= Success?
I don't know, but it DOES equal me spending plenty of time in the MAC computer lab in the basement of the NU library.

So my computer's ackin stupid, well basically its not working, which is a problem, funny thing is.. it was working fine ( i guess) then like two hours later, completly not working (<--so descriptive). That's technology, gosh darn it!.
It basically comes on, well at least the lights, and then it turns off, and comes on again, each time it seems to be working harder to turn itself on. And that whole time nothing comes on the screen.

I thought I would freak out alot more than did, because I knew inevitably this would happen. i mean it like happens to everyone's computer. But there was a peace of sort,you know. I just automically knew I have to go to the library for everything or borrow someone else's laptop. I guess I've come to the sad realization there is not almost constant Facebook/Email/Blog checking. Which makes me think God is trying to tell me something, what? I don't know. but yeah.

The only real thing I was upset about was that I don't/didn't have access to my NCE stuff, i.e. the flyers I am working on for the concert. Hence I spent a majority of my day redoing the flyers. They're totally different, to some degree, than my original concept, but It's all good. I Like them (smiley face).

I guess there's some good to come out of this.
I'm shocked that I am about to type these words,
but I think the next time, probably within the next two years, when I buy myself another laptop
it will probably be a mac. (ouch, the apple has gone threw the window..think about it).
Maybe it cuz I spent the whole day in "MAC land" or maybe it because I actually understand how to use one more now. And maybe because somethings are easier, definitely not everything though.  but yeah I might.

wow, I typed a lot.
well not that much
Anywayz have a great day/week/month
until the next time I update,
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

Decisions.

I have no idea what to do.
why must I have to make this decision? what must I be an adult?
ehhhhh
so I'm considering doing Senior Thesis, but I know doing that
I will have to give up some other things for my senior year,
but then I think doing the Senior Thesis will only help become a better teacher,
it'll open up doors for me to go to graduate school,
and I definitely see it as economical, i mean i getting research experience from a
research institution.
But ya know I'm gonna give it a try, and I feel like I'll be pushing myself to the breaking point,
like me thinking about doing so many things just makes me stressed, but I guess if I never do it,
how do I know I actually can't do it. Besides that,

• I don't know I'm living on or off campus next year.
• I really don't know what classes I'm taking next quarter.
• I don't know where I'm gonna teach after graduating.

I just don't know alot of things,
and that's really what scaring me, I don't want to see it all pass me by,
but I'm to scared to make a decision, because it's basically things I've never experience (besides the class thing)...I guess this is where a role model will come in to play.
I guess you could say I'm scared of failing. And not failing like I got a  C on midterm or something,
but like I'm scared of my whole life going down the tube, spinning around and around in  the toilet bowl,
and then me wondering why did I make that decision.

so this I pray
until my dying-day,
Lord, Please help me make a decision,
about anything, show me what I am to do.
Cuz I really have no clue,
and you know what's best for me,
and you know what lies ahead for me.

i guess I've always imagined life as being easy...
and I'm coming to the realization that life will not be easy
from here on out.
I'm tempting to ask why,
but I know it really doesn't matter why.

okay that's it.
sorry just had to get this off my chest,
maybe it'll help me to make a decision,
and stop waiting for something to happen.

idk.
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE.

Movie Rambling

Wowzers,
Haven't done this in a while................
but you know the cold, and snowy conditions cause for one to watch many, many movies......
all though I only have 4 to talk about.

1. Hearts and Souls



This one is a classic, well a childhood classic. It came out in 1993. Starring Robert Downey Jr, Alfre Woodard, Kyra Sedgwick, and two other white guys I don't know the names of. I won't give away too much of the movie, actually I won't tell you what its about. But this is the movie that made me love Robert Downey Jr, Alfre Woodard and B.B. King. Ahh I love this movie. It makes me cry, laugh, sing, and leaves me with a warm feeling inside. So, watch it!

wait, this movie always makes me think of this song (clip from the film)

2. G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra



Pretty kool film, I guess, not the best, I think this is probably a good movie to see in surround sound or something, because its just like action the whole time I feel. It is basically about these two guys who become apart of the G.I. Joes. not much I can say. Stars Channing Tatum (who needs a little bit more acting experience, really) and Marlon Wayans, def. one of his more serious roles, I guess. I mean the movie kinda made me wanted to see a sequel. I'm expecting something great to come afterward, but i doubt it will be any good.

3. The Book of Eli


saw this on a whim, totally unplanned. This was a great film. If you've seen the trailer or anything about the movie, it's totally not that. I was really surprised that it turned into a "Christian" film. I mean after viewing the trailer, I thought it was just another Denzel movie where he's killing people. But it's totally different than that. It's has a purpose to it all. It really touched my heart, but I wished it coulda been a little shorter. Great movie though, all though I doubt Denzel will get any Oscars for it (that what happens when you try to make a movie with a Christian message I guess)


4. Dance Flick

you would probably be totally fine if you never see this movie in your life. I admit some parts were funny, and it was great how they made fun of so many movies in one, but it just didn't seem really coherent, some transitions could've been better, and then end left me feeling so empty. The star character though, Damon Wayans, Jr. definitely has some potential to be funny, like its aunties and uncles, I totally see it. So I am excited to see him do more comedy, but this movie could have been done so much better......

yes. that is all the movie....
hope you watch them, or maybe not.......
i don't really care......

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

Stereotypes

I guess this post is gonna get a little serious on ya. like for real.

Recently when discussing with my academic advisor about the prospect of me doing a  senior thesis,
she encouraged me to do it, ya know to broaden my experience, and just in general she wants me to do research, because she feels I'm "gifted" ( I mean I am, what can I say)
but one point she made that struck me was that I should do it because I'm a
black male. 

After conversing with her, and thinking about whether I wanted to do the senior thesis, it really hit me, why do I have to do something because I'm black?, like that's kinda not the way I operate in life. And it made me realize how sometimes, which mean alot, I forget that I'm  a black male, and that I kinda came against all odds and whatnot to be where I am. It's really mind blowing.

Ya know I don't see myself as a black male the way other people see black males. When I look in the mirror, I see a guy who happens to be black. But this doesn't mean I dont recognize or take pride in my blackness, because I very much do. You know I'm proud of the history of black people in America and of my culture. But I guess sometimes I kinda forget that fact that I'm different than the majority of Americans, my langauge is different, my beliefs are different, my culture is different.

I'm thinking about it more today because in my Teach Ed class, today we talking about identity, and that's something that I guess I always wondered about concerning race. Just because I identify myself as something doesn't mean other won't view me as the opposite. Because there's stereotypes that exist about people who look like me. And me exhibiting some of those stereotypes only reinforces what people think to be true, so how do I explain to someone all people like me don't act like that, without you know totally disassociating myself from the group as a whole. I know all of this is probably general, but I'm blurting out stuff.

but more and more, each day I'm realizing how special my situation is (and it's only by the grace of God, that I've been able to do things I have done, and such). Like many black males aren't in my situation of being in college, & basically my life and career plan. and thinking about how if I were my brothers age and having someone who's going through what I will eventually go through,  that would have been so inspiring, yet, I did it all without that role model, without someone to be the model for me. You know now I get it ( and by now i meant when I first thought of this). That me living my life is actually less about me, and more about the legacy and the model I leave behind.

And thinking about my career as a math teacher, I will be a representation for students,  especially black male students, that black males can do math. and again thinking about if I had a black male math teacher, at least one time in my schooling, what would that have done for me? but still then I made it without that teacher.

This brings up the question of  thats why I "forget" I'm black, have I assimilated so much in to the dominant culture, that I subconsciously am unaware of race in my situation. was this because no real black role models in education were present? I don't know.

This is the problem with identification of self, ya know do I identify myself with how other people view me, or should I go with what other view me as, since these stereotypes are going to forever exist. Or am I just an exception to the rule? I don't know.

But I do know I will forever be a black man.and I have to realize I'm different, I'm gonna be viewed as different, different things are going to be expected of me just because I'm a black male. and that will affect all aspects of my life. and it's something I gotta deal with.......FOREVER...
yeah............

*sorry I got really deep and typed so much, maybe you read it all, maybe ya didn't it really don't matter......this was more for me........even though there's no way to really answer any of this........*

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

Sorry...

I definitely don't update as much as I used to, comparing to how much I use to update about a year ago....
but ya know it that I'm in a different place now I guess (sounds like I gettin deep again)...
but ummmm
its not that I don't want to update, I kinda put posting stuff off,
and I guess I sorta don't need a blog as much as I had needed it a year ago.
or I don't find it as important to me, to show/tell people things about stuff that I think is kool to me.

but I will try to update as much as I can when I can. But ya know times are hard.....
Flash to scene of me on stage singing this
"when ya trying get this money for the rent........"
im telling you if life was a musical it be awesome as hell...
like fo-ril-zees.

Yeah but um I will try to update, a little som'n som'n......
if I can when I can......

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

Hello World,

I believe the last time I update it was January,
how quickly Black History Month approaches,
I mean we are already 4 days into the new month.

And can I just say, (yes you may)
that this quarter is going by inexplicably fast,
like really, there's still so much i have to do,
in like less than a month,
but i can do it, hopefully.

things r going well though,
classes r starting to do their thug-dizzle thing in my life
well my only bad day is like Tuesday, which means Monday nights suck ASS!
but once I get past Tuesday, I recover Wednesday and Thursday Friday (no homework ever done on Friday),
and then must prepare myself for the next Tuesday over the weekend.

umm I already applied for Breakthrough Collaborative, sent my application in on Saturday
(i actually turned it in when I said I was)....got an interview this Monday @ 10:45 AM on gchat
yes, I hope this works out, it will be nice to go somewhere this summer, better than staying in the Kank,
and also it'll give me some type of teaching experience,
now all I need is a back-up plan (just in case)
but I'm praying I won't need it.

also I think I'm gonna try and do the Senior Thesis thing. Hopefully, I will be able to traverse through all the things I gotta do to do it and hopefully I can stick with it. I'm apprehensive about it still, but we will see.

Currently "looking" for an apartment to stay next year, I think it will be nice. But I'm thinking it probably gonna cost me the same amount of money to stay in a dorm, seeing as how what I  saw by calculating in my head right quick, that the school just gives me enough money for tuition. so we'll see.

yes I'm am still rambling, and if you made it this far u get a gold star.

if not then u don't get NOTHIN!

it really doesn't matter cuz I don't really have anything else to talk about......
idk....
maybe update later (well it can only be later ya dummy)...

whatevs
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!