wow it's almost august.

i wanted to write this emotionally filled post about how I am truly terrified about having my own classroom. And TRULY being the one in charge. Like for student teaching it was different because ultimately really what went one was my mentor's decision. But I just don't know what I want to do or I guess what is 'right' for me to do. I guess I just don't like this idea of being a novice teacher. I want to be an experience, talented teacher already...I think it's just that I hate failing, but that's the only way I'm gonna grow soo...

And on top of that I'm moving to Evanston, and I'm gonna be completely on my own. I guess it's just a big step, and I didn't think it would feel as big as it does. I mean I went to college for 4 years, pretty much away from home the whole time, I just thought it would be easier than it feels. but it's not. Being at home for like 2 months makes me miss that security even more, that support. And I know my parent's will still be supporting me, but in a different way (financially not as much, which I guess don't wanna really worry about and I prolly won't, until I see all those bills). And each day that gets closer to my move-in day, it hints me slightly more that these big steps are approaching.

and I mean, I miss college already, I can't really believe it's over. And it's not helping that I'm moving back to the place where I went to school. I knew this would happen. Of course graduation day I was really happy I was done. But now I realize, I met some amazing  people, had some amazing experiences, and I'm done with that, moving on this next step of teaching, and totally different life.

But although I'm truly scared of being a teacher, moving on my own, and missing college, I know in the end I'll be alright. And in about two months I'll be so busy, everything will be routine, and I'll have some amazing experiences that I'll be truly happy that I am where I am.......But until then I guess I just need to pray and focus my energies elsewhere........

Was that emotional enough????

Blah.
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Random.
This week was VBS at my church. Realized I'm so glad I'm teaching high schoolers. those 6,7,8 year olds. Nu-uh.Could not be me. I would slap one of those kids....for reals.
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Announcement of sorts
Having a Graduation/Going Away/Housewarming celebration. More so my mom is. I don't really care about the celebration I just want gifts/money............should be fun though. I have to do a 'powerpoint' but I think my mom meant slideshow. well at least that's what I plan on doing...hahaha I'm so lazy.

also this is my 299th post........it's taken me forever to get to this 300. next post is gonna be grand slash i'm totally lying because I don't even know when the next time I'm gonna post....and who says grand anymore? dang cuh...

here's a random picture of me after I graduated from Kindergarten.......

I wonder if I still have this certificate, my mom prolly does........hahaha.
alright that's it.

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE

I got a place to live!!!

It's all coming together!
Yeah.
I'll be staying in Evanston, which is funny cause at first I didn't really want to.
And I'm also paying more than I wanted, but it's all good gee.
And I'm not moving in  until Aug 15, which is later than I wanted.
So basically I kinda got a place that I wasn't looking for.
My place is gonna be dope, hopefully.

I just don't have anything, well I have a bed, tv, and a dresser. But I don't have any furniture or anything really for my apartment. But to say the most I'm pretty excited, and ready to get outta this place.....like you don't even know........

I think about that place everyday, how it'll be my place, I know I can go to it and not be bothered with anyone. I'm just excited for the most part.......

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this summer I'm weirdly becoming a 'reading machine', at least when it comes to books. I've read a second book and now on my third.
I think I just need to find stuff that interest me. Novels do not. that's for sure. haha, more realistic, life applicable stuff works for me I think.
My second book is called Zero: The Biography of a Dangerous Idea by Charles Seife.

It basically chronicles the history of the idea of zero (or the idea of void, nothingness) which also brings about the idea of infinity. But this books gave a pretty good history of not only the number zero, but also mathematics, which I think is really interesting for me going to be a teacher, because I didn't know this stuff at first. now I can share random tidbits with my students such as Pythagoras was part of a secret society of mathematicians/philosophers who totally killed a guy for talking about irrational numbers....or that Indians started Algebra, but it really didn't catch on until the Muslims took over the Western world..

This books is also interesting because it connects the idea of math, philosophy, and religion, which some people may see as separate things nowadays. I think this book just showed me that people were really invested in math, because it was closely connected to their beliefs of life, and that really why the stuff we study has stuck around for so long. Not so much that it's all actually true. I mean people had arguments over math.

Anyway I loved reading the book, it just showed me math is rooted in humanity and its not just this abstract stuff that came outta no where, which I guess is the point I would also like to demonstrate to my students as a result from reading this book.

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also Big Brother 13 started a week ago. This cast has 3 black people, one which got voted off today. yeah.
Started with 8 newbies, and 6 veteran returning to the house and tons of twists. I'm def not going to be updating here or anywhere about the show. Not as invested as I used to be, but I'll be watching.....

alright
Random Picture Time:

i thought this was funny...

tis all
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!!!