Decisions.

I have no idea what to do.
why must I have to make this decision? what must I be an adult?
ehhhhh
so I'm considering doing Senior Thesis, but I know doing that
I will have to give up some other things for my senior year,
but then I think doing the Senior Thesis will only help become a better teacher,
it'll open up doors for me to go to graduate school,
and I definitely see it as economical, i mean i getting research experience from a
research institution.
But ya know I'm gonna give it a try, and I feel like I'll be pushing myself to the breaking point,
like me thinking about doing so many things just makes me stressed, but I guess if I never do it,
how do I know I actually can't do it. Besides that,

• I don't know I'm living on or off campus next year.
• I really don't know what classes I'm taking next quarter.
• I don't know where I'm gonna teach after graduating.

I just don't know alot of things,
and that's really what scaring me, I don't want to see it all pass me by,
but I'm to scared to make a decision, because it's basically things I've never experience (besides the class thing)...I guess this is where a role model will come in to play.
I guess you could say I'm scared of failing. And not failing like I got a  C on midterm or something,
but like I'm scared of my whole life going down the tube, spinning around and around in  the toilet bowl,
and then me wondering why did I make that decision.

so this I pray
until my dying-day,
Lord, Please help me make a decision,
about anything, show me what I am to do.
Cuz I really have no clue,
and you know what's best for me,
and you know what lies ahead for me.

i guess I've always imagined life as being easy...
and I'm coming to the realization that life will not be easy
from here on out.
I'm tempting to ask why,
but I know it really doesn't matter why.

okay that's it.
sorry just had to get this off my chest,
maybe it'll help me to make a decision,
and stop waiting for something to happen.

idk.
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE.

Hello World,

I believe the last time I update it was January,
how quickly Black History Month approaches,
I mean we are already 4 days into the new month.

And can I just say, (yes you may)
that this quarter is going by inexplicably fast,
like really, there's still so much i have to do,
in like less than a month,
but i can do it, hopefully.

things r going well though,
classes r starting to do their thug-dizzle thing in my life
well my only bad day is like Tuesday, which means Monday nights suck ASS!
but once I get past Tuesday, I recover Wednesday and Thursday Friday (no homework ever done on Friday),
and then must prepare myself for the next Tuesday over the weekend.

umm I already applied for Breakthrough Collaborative, sent my application in on Saturday
(i actually turned it in when I said I was)....got an interview this Monday @ 10:45 AM on gchat
yes, I hope this works out, it will be nice to go somewhere this summer, better than staying in the Kank,
and also it'll give me some type of teaching experience,
now all I need is a back-up plan (just in case)
but I'm praying I won't need it.

also I think I'm gonna try and do the Senior Thesis thing. Hopefully, I will be able to traverse through all the things I gotta do to do it and hopefully I can stick with it. I'm apprehensive about it still, but we will see.

Currently "looking" for an apartment to stay next year, I think it will be nice. But I'm thinking it probably gonna cost me the same amount of money to stay in a dorm, seeing as how what I  saw by calculating in my head right quick, that the school just gives me enough money for tuition. so we'll see.

yes I'm am still rambling, and if you made it this far u get a gold star.

if not then u don't get NOTHIN!

it really doesn't matter cuz I don't really have anything else to talk about......
idk....
maybe update later (well it can only be later ya dummy)...

whatevs
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!