Stereotypes

I guess this post is gonna get a little serious on ya. like for real.

Recently when discussing with my academic advisor about the prospect of me doing a  senior thesis,
she encouraged me to do it, ya know to broaden my experience, and just in general she wants me to do research, because she feels I'm "gifted" ( I mean I am, what can I say)
but one point she made that struck me was that I should do it because I'm a
black male. 

After conversing with her, and thinking about whether I wanted to do the senior thesis, it really hit me, why do I have to do something because I'm black?, like that's kinda not the way I operate in life. And it made me realize how sometimes, which mean alot, I forget that I'm  a black male, and that I kinda came against all odds and whatnot to be where I am. It's really mind blowing.

Ya know I don't see myself as a black male the way other people see black males. When I look in the mirror, I see a guy who happens to be black. But this doesn't mean I dont recognize or take pride in my blackness, because I very much do. You know I'm proud of the history of black people in America and of my culture. But I guess sometimes I kinda forget that fact that I'm different than the majority of Americans, my langauge is different, my beliefs are different, my culture is different.

I'm thinking about it more today because in my Teach Ed class, today we talking about identity, and that's something that I guess I always wondered about concerning race. Just because I identify myself as something doesn't mean other won't view me as the opposite. Because there's stereotypes that exist about people who look like me. And me exhibiting some of those stereotypes only reinforces what people think to be true, so how do I explain to someone all people like me don't act like that, without you know totally disassociating myself from the group as a whole. I know all of this is probably general, but I'm blurting out stuff.

but more and more, each day I'm realizing how special my situation is (and it's only by the grace of God, that I've been able to do things I have done, and such). Like many black males aren't in my situation of being in college, & basically my life and career plan. and thinking about how if I were my brothers age and having someone who's going through what I will eventually go through,  that would have been so inspiring, yet, I did it all without that role model, without someone to be the model for me. You know now I get it ( and by now i meant when I first thought of this). That me living my life is actually less about me, and more about the legacy and the model I leave behind.

And thinking about my career as a math teacher, I will be a representation for students,  especially black male students, that black males can do math. and again thinking about if I had a black male math teacher, at least one time in my schooling, what would that have done for me? but still then I made it without that teacher.

This brings up the question of  thats why I "forget" I'm black, have I assimilated so much in to the dominant culture, that I subconsciously am unaware of race in my situation. was this because no real black role models in education were present? I don't know.

This is the problem with identification of self, ya know do I identify myself with how other people view me, or should I go with what other view me as, since these stereotypes are going to forever exist. Or am I just an exception to the rule? I don't know.

But I do know I will forever be a black man.and I have to realize I'm different, I'm gonna be viewed as different, different things are going to be expected of me just because I'm a black male. and that will affect all aspects of my life. and it's something I gotta deal with.......FOREVER...
yeah............

*sorry I got really deep and typed so much, maybe you read it all, maybe ya didn't it really don't matter......this was more for me........even though there's no way to really answer any of this........*

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

Who actually needs a title? just read...

BB Updation

so ol girl, umm Laura , from the Popular clique went home. Ironically I thought she would be the most likely to win (see how wrong I was), but this was before the first episode. cuuz there was vids of all the cast online, and I watched them. She just seemed the most determined, and was like she came to win soo I thought she would. But she went home mainly becasue she ran her mouth too much, she was talking smack about the HOH, Ronnie, not such a good thing. So she went home, NOT Russell. I think that may come to bite back Ronnie in the butt, actually I think he might be going home next week but who knows, crazy big brother.

Yeha, he might not go home, because Jessie is HOH (again, ughhhh)..and they're supposed to be in a alliance, but who knows well see. Most def on Tuesday.

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VBS Updation

Last day was on Friday, it was an okay program, not as many children came back that was there doing the week. That seems to happen every year, but what can you do?. ummmm it was good though. I'm definitely glad it's over, cuz it was kinda stressful, but not THAT stressful. It was also TIRING. but now I don't have nothing (ooo double negative) to do per say...but I'll figure that out. I'm thinking about joining the choir thing for a musical at my church, but I don't know if I want to...we'll see....but for VBS that's it....

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Eagle Eye

Saw this movie today, one word: CRAZINESS!!. Omg! This movie was ridiculous in the beginning, got kinda boring, predictable towards the end. I won't reveal to much of it. but Shia LaBaeof and this other lady (Michelle Monaghan...???) are seen as terrortists, and are basically running for their lives. Basically it's a set up. But by who? Pretty good movie, got and kept my attention.


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Black In America: Part 2.

Watched the first part of this. and I guess it was better than the last one, can't remember what "Part 1" was like. But you know there was def a theme this time: Tommorrow Leaders. Basically showed people who are preparing and those becoming those Leaders. There was a small shout-out ,if you will, to NU. One of the people from the show who was of main focus, is (went?) to Kellogg, so that was really kool to see. I think it also gave a more diverse specturm of what it means to be black in America than what I remember from the first one. pretty kool, I guess.

They're supposed to be doing a Latino in America also....interesting.....my question is should they do a White in America? Or do we all already know that story!

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NU Football Season

Just wanted to say I am so excited for the upcoming football season at NU! (for the 70th time). triggered by a football game. the Big Ten Network showed the game '08 against Illinois (our rivarly, and interestingly the nearest Big Ten School to my house). We won this game. and It just got me so excited to watch the game and see our football team winning (all that purple), and also to faintly hear the band in the background....it's just way to amazing. I saw a clip of the band once, like 2 second clip of the band, and I went crazy!

Here's highlights of the game, awesome!



Just mucho excited! AHHHH!
GO 'CATS!!!