so I just realized my blog-aversary back in December, so it's been like 4 years now....
wowza.

anyhoos. I was just gonna update a bit.
I'm on Christmas break. and basically it's been awesome. sleeping in has definitely been the best part.
i'm gonna miss it next week when i'm back to the hustle and bustle.

but i'm guess i'm excited to get back in the classroom. do i want to? NO. but my life will return to something meaningful. so far over break though, i've been crossing things off my things-to-do-over-winter-break-that don't-involve-work-TO DO LIST. one which includes furnishing my apt. I have so much space....but things are coming together at least my living room which is koolio awesome. I feel like I live here more now...other than that I haven't crossed too many other things off my list cuz i'm lazy...but i'm alright with that...i rested for realz.....

back to school stuff now, gotta change my mindset. Flip the switch from lazy to productive-ish. Overall, teaching is better. i mean definitely looking back to the beginning I did alot of stuff classroom management wise that was wrong or more so I didn't even know what to do. there's so much stuff I feel like I'm fighting in classroom that could've been avoided completely in the beginning....and I feel like still discovering who I am as a teacher and how to make that come across to my students. Like I really don't know who Mr.A is. And how that's different from the person I am out of school.

But I know  that  I'll definitely be prepared for next year...setting up procedures and routines and defining the boundaries more strictly (or at least try to). But you know I love my students all of them, even though I feel like I do way to much for them. And truly I just want them all to succeed in my class. But I don't know if I always express that because I'm so lost/overwhelmed/tired.

I guess that would be one of my goal for the second half of the year...
I think I've definitely been self-centered, concentrating alot of myself in classroom....because I'm trying to learn how to live the adult life and how I am supposed to be a teacher (it's my first year and all)
but I defintiely need to put the focus back on the students, no matter what's going on with me. Think about what are they doing. Then based on their performance think  about how can I improve.

Another goal I think, would be around the mathematics...I don't know if I often show my excitement for the math. show them the cool stuff. Yeah I want them to be able to do stuff. solve certain problems graph this blah blah. But it would help to show the importance of mathematics things to me. whether that some interesting background or presenting in a real life context. I would just really like to change my students perception of mathematics. like it's so ridiculous how easily students give up on math and how for whatever they don't think they can be good at it...

I got like five million more goals pop in my mind as I'm writing this..parents, motivation, failing students....I can just do alot better. and I know I still got a long way to go. I'm just glad it's better. Am I still as happy as I thought I would be? No. But it's better. my students like/respect for the most. And  I know they all want to learn. I need to help them get there  better-er..

one day I'll be effective. one day.

here's a picture I took of my dog Buster.
He was scaring the crap outta me today...

that's it.
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

I'm finally updating

Guess because now I feel I have time, and plus I'm kinda bored actually, well in addition to procrastination but it'll all get done tomorrow.

First of all this is my 300th post. Woot! (this has taken forever......). Yeah I don't know when my next posts will be, but whateves....it's cool.


TWO. blogger has changed incredibly much, but hey that happens all the time with this social networking thing.....


3) this will probably be a rambling of sorts, cuz I'm just typing as I go and stuff..


#4 Teaching is a lot of work. Hardest thing I've ever done in my life. and honestly I'm not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. Maybe because I'm just focusing too much on the negative stuff. I don't know I just want it to be better already.


V. But my students are great. I just want them to learn. And that's not happening with everyone.... But they provide me with plenty of laughter and amusement. They definitely give my life meaning, definitely can see my purpose. just wish it was easier i suppose. Yet I realize that mathematics, at least the mathematics I teach is not really my passion. I definitely like math, but not as much as I use to. And I think it's because I don't see as much usefulness for it out-of-school context. Again I'm talking about the mathematics I teach. (sigh)

F. It also made me realize how much I LOVE music...I love singing (duh) and listening to music is so awesome.  I love listening for small inflection or changes, and things that are slightly out of tune. I can't really describe it, but I love it...

Six.  I need to go to church more often/ find a church home. Need it. It's weird being an adult, and having to officialize (making up words) so many things, like what I believe in religious, my (non-existent) political views/voting, paying bills, spending habits, food and shopping. Alot of stuff was based on what my parents did, and now on my own I now have the decision to do WHATEVER, and that's what scary to me because I don't know what to do I suppose....

Neves. I don't like being an adult. It's hard. I just think my life is tough in general, cuz I'm learning to rely on myself, which is usually is alright until I don't want to do anything. (which often happens on the weekend) so basically my life consist of nothingness (besides teaching), which makes adulthood seem awfully boring...eh.


ATE. My birthday is coming up soon. 23. I want to do something AWESOME. like drink. with friends in my apartment.  


9. My apartment is still pretty bare. I haven't had the time (more so the will) to go out and buy stuff. I'm slowly getting there though ( I got a rug!). Hopefully by the end of the year ( calendar year I mean) I'll have my living looking pretty nice. Hopefully....


!*. this is the last one. I don't know the next time I'll update. Hopefully before the year is over. This was fun. random updates  about stuff in my life. I could probably write more, but then this would lbe the post that never ends. 


- Also: Thanksgiving was fun. Ate tons, went back to K3. Church and Family. I miss it. uhhh yeah.

(random picture why not....hahaha...chicken and watermelon...which interestingly bring up a story. my parents came to visit me in October. and basically we ate chicken and watermelon. so stereotypical Ikr???)

until next time
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!

wow it's almost august.

i wanted to write this emotionally filled post about how I am truly terrified about having my own classroom. And TRULY being the one in charge. Like for student teaching it was different because ultimately really what went one was my mentor's decision. But I just don't know what I want to do or I guess what is 'right' for me to do. I guess I just don't like this idea of being a novice teacher. I want to be an experience, talented teacher already...I think it's just that I hate failing, but that's the only way I'm gonna grow soo...

And on top of that I'm moving to Evanston, and I'm gonna be completely on my own. I guess it's just a big step, and I didn't think it would feel as big as it does. I mean I went to college for 4 years, pretty much away from home the whole time, I just thought it would be easier than it feels. but it's not. Being at home for like 2 months makes me miss that security even more, that support. And I know my parent's will still be supporting me, but in a different way (financially not as much, which I guess don't wanna really worry about and I prolly won't, until I see all those bills). And each day that gets closer to my move-in day, it hints me slightly more that these big steps are approaching.

and I mean, I miss college already, I can't really believe it's over. And it's not helping that I'm moving back to the place where I went to school. I knew this would happen. Of course graduation day I was really happy I was done. But now I realize, I met some amazing  people, had some amazing experiences, and I'm done with that, moving on this next step of teaching, and totally different life.

But although I'm truly scared of being a teacher, moving on my own, and missing college, I know in the end I'll be alright. And in about two months I'll be so busy, everything will be routine, and I'll have some amazing experiences that I'll be truly happy that I am where I am.......But until then I guess I just need to pray and focus my energies elsewhere........

Was that emotional enough????

Blah.
----------------------
Random.
This week was VBS at my church. Realized I'm so glad I'm teaching high schoolers. those 6,7,8 year olds. Nu-uh.Could not be me. I would slap one of those kids....for reals.
----------
Announcement of sorts
Having a Graduation/Going Away/Housewarming celebration. More so my mom is. I don't really care about the celebration I just want gifts/money............should be fun though. I have to do a 'powerpoint' but I think my mom meant slideshow. well at least that's what I plan on doing...hahaha I'm so lazy.

also this is my 299th post........it's taken me forever to get to this 300. next post is gonna be grand slash i'm totally lying because I don't even know when the next time I'm gonna post....and who says grand anymore? dang cuh...

here's a random picture of me after I graduated from Kindergarten.......

I wonder if I still have this certificate, my mom prolly does........hahaha.
alright that's it.

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE

I got a place to live!!!

It's all coming together!
Yeah.
I'll be staying in Evanston, which is funny cause at first I didn't really want to.
And I'm also paying more than I wanted, but it's all good gee.
And I'm not moving in  until Aug 15, which is later than I wanted.
So basically I kinda got a place that I wasn't looking for.
My place is gonna be dope, hopefully.

I just don't have anything, well I have a bed, tv, and a dresser. But I don't have any furniture or anything really for my apartment. But to say the most I'm pretty excited, and ready to get outta this place.....like you don't even know........

I think about that place everyday, how it'll be my place, I know I can go to it and not be bothered with anyone. I'm just excited for the most part.......

--------
this summer I'm weirdly becoming a 'reading machine', at least when it comes to books. I've read a second book and now on my third.
I think I just need to find stuff that interest me. Novels do not. that's for sure. haha, more realistic, life applicable stuff works for me I think.
My second book is called Zero: The Biography of a Dangerous Idea by Charles Seife.

It basically chronicles the history of the idea of zero (or the idea of void, nothingness) which also brings about the idea of infinity. But this books gave a pretty good history of not only the number zero, but also mathematics, which I think is really interesting for me going to be a teacher, because I didn't know this stuff at first. now I can share random tidbits with my students such as Pythagoras was part of a secret society of mathematicians/philosophers who totally killed a guy for talking about irrational numbers....or that Indians started Algebra, but it really didn't catch on until the Muslims took over the Western world..

This books is also interesting because it connects the idea of math, philosophy, and religion, which some people may see as separate things nowadays. I think this book just showed me that people were really invested in math, because it was closely connected to their beliefs of life, and that really why the stuff we study has stuck around for so long. Not so much that it's all actually true. I mean people had arguments over math.

Anyway I loved reading the book, it just showed me math is rooted in humanity and its not just this abstract stuff that came outta no where, which I guess is the point I would also like to demonstrate to my students as a result from reading this book.

--------
also Big Brother 13 started a week ago. This cast has 3 black people, one which got voted off today. yeah.
Started with 8 newbies, and 6 veteran returning to the house and tons of twists. I'm def not going to be updating here or anywhere about the show. Not as invested as I used to be, but I'll be watching.....

alright
Random Picture Time:

i thought this was funny...

tis all
PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!!!

Been home [a little more than] a week.

And it's weird.
Because I have that feeling like I would over a spring/winter break......I'll get back to Evanston soon enough (which is still true in this instance) but it's gonna be in a total different way.

 I'll be living in actual place of my own (the search for that is still ongoing and actual quite stressful, how I would love to play over $1000 for a 1 bedroom, I don't know if it's really worth it, esp since I have loans to payoff.......Do I want to live in Evanston or Chicago?....I just don't know, because I've never done this before...so really unsure but I'll figure something out, I'll keep you updated)

But really I have that feeling like I'm tired of being in K3 and that I'll be heading back to Evanston soon to hangout with friends and get ready for classes, but that defintiely's not happening..
And really I do not like being home.
One, I feel like there's nothing to do/I don't want to do anything
Two, No one is here
Three, family is family, but annoying after awhile, esp parents, its like stop telling me what to do, I'm not a teenage anymore, they don't understand that though.

Only a month left though, I'm sure I'll miss K3, but really looking forward to things to come.
Like sometimes I forget that I already have a job, because I literally have nothing to do, but there are moments of enlightenment when I'm like 'wait I have my own classroom, and students, and getting actual money for it'. It's a really great feeling....

But in the meantime, I need to find stuff to do.
yeah.
Random PIcture time. 

that baby is so cute...and I would totally say the same thing/have the same facial expression if I was with Obama.

Random Factoid.

Did you know?A shrimp's heart is located in its head.


Another random picture (just cuz I felt like it)

PEACE & CHICKEN GREASE!!!